Let's Talk about SEX!

Three months before her wedding, I get a call, “If things don’t work out with Rob and me, I have come up with an awesome plan for us. We get paid to travel plus we get free shoes! Are you in?”

“Traveling and Shoes! No brainer, but… what’s the catch?”

“Nothing, we just have to become nuns.”

Obviously, join the convent, why hadn’t I thought of that before.  The convent, my Italian grandmother’s only exception to marriage and 10 kids! 

Growing up, I had two classifications for Christians. There were the “normal” not too crazy ones, and then there were the super committed zealot Christians, your standard priest and nun types. In 2001 I found myself in a bit of a conundrum. I had experienced God in a new and real way. Overnight I became my worst fear, a zealot, and I could never go back to being a “normal” Christian.  But what was I supposed to do, put on my celibacy habit and start beating kids with rulers? 

To be honest, my secret dream was to become a marriage/sex counselor.  In high school I practiced by giving advice to my parents. I think my dad actually “Amen”-ed when I explained the mandate of 1 Corinthians 7 to not deprive each other of sex for any reason other than prayer.

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control (verses 4-5).

In addition to my dream of being the world’s most sought after Christian sex therapist, I wanted to be the mother of 8 ethnic babies, like Noah’s ark with kiddos! I am not saying that I wanted to procreate with 8 different men, I do believe in adoption people! But, I also wanted a husband to help me raise my wild multi-colored babies, and, I would, obviously have to apply 1 Corinthians 7 to my own married life.  The convent didn’t fit with the dreams in my heart.

Last weekend, as I went from one volunteer obligation to the next, it hit me, I AM A NUN! Simply put, I am a sex-less, celibate, woman devoted to serving the poor and the church of God. I am paying for my own shoes, but other than that, I think I got this nun thing down. 

It’s a hard knock life for a nun in our overly sexed culture. If your life looks anything like the lives on TV or on the radio, you can’t actually make it through an entire shift at work, without sneaking into a supply closet with your newest fling. Honestly, I don’t know how you get anything done! Media defines us solely by our sexuality. You might like men, women, both? You may prefer traditional sex or like the kinky adventures of sexual bondage. As a culture we are outraged by rape, forced prostitution and child pornography, but cheer for sexual experimentation and women owning their own sexual freedom.  Everything around us screams SEX, SEX, SEX! We are told constantly that to discover your sexuality is to discover yourself.

Maybe it is just my sex-deprived brain, but I am not buying it! In my life, sex is a verb (a very passive one) not a noun. I am not defined by who I am (not) sleeping with, and neither are you. In 2001, I began the sweet adventure of living zealous for God. I know now that I am not more or less spiritual if my life leads to the convent or to the altar. I am not trying to say your sexual life doesn't matter just that sexual identity isn't chief. There is more to life than sex and more to personal discovery than sexual affiliations. You will only find yourself when you lose yourself in Him.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

(Galatians 2:20)

But, if you are looking for Marriage/Sex Counselor, hook a sista up!  I'd love to walk you through Biblical sexuality! :)