An Ode to My Friends Who Understand this One:
Many of my friends are currently anxious, confused and some, like me, wrestling with bitterness. We all know we should not be anxious about anything. I am sure that was the comment you were about to say, so I said it for you. But that's the thing about anxiety, bitterness and confusion they just sneak up on you. One second you are breathing fine, the next second you are on the brink of a panic attack, looking for the inhaler that you don't actually own. Why? Because you don't know where you will live next year or where you will work? Because you don't know if he's the one, or if this other guy is the one or if Shemar Moore is the one and you just haven't met him yet? (Note to self- figure out how to meet Shemar Moore to see if he's "the one"). Because you are 30 and no closer to understanding how anyone knows "the one"?
There are 10,000 emotions running through your brain at one time and all you want to do is go run until you can't feel it any more, but all you have the energy to do is lay on your couch. While you are laying lifeless on your couch, you replay every past decision looking for mistakes, analyzing decisions made decades before. It's a terrible life season, the not knowing. It's also great. God's word becomes real to you in ways it hasn't been real in a long time. As emotions race you say "you promised wisdom, and I'm cashing that promise in. I need it". You pray for peace and wait for it to transcend your understanding. You connect with the bitterness of King Hezekiah, the prophet Elijah and sweet Naomi. Call me Mara. But you also cling to the moment when God hears and sees Hezekiah's bitter tears, feeds and strengthens defeated Elijah and redeems Naomi's broken past. It is in these moments of anxiety and confusion that we get to anxiously await God's redemption, which always comes. It is where bitterness turns to hope, confusion turns to order, and anxiety is once again filled with peace.
Shemar Moore isn't exactly related, but I figured it would save you a google search :)!
There are 10,000 emotions running through your brain at one time and all you want to do is go run until you can't feel it any more, but all you have the energy to do is lay on your couch. While you are laying lifeless on your couch, you replay every past decision looking for mistakes, analyzing decisions made decades before. It's a terrible life season, the not knowing. It's also great. God's word becomes real to you in ways it hasn't been real in a long time. As emotions race you say "you promised wisdom, and I'm cashing that promise in. I need it". You pray for peace and wait for it to transcend your understanding. You connect with the bitterness of King Hezekiah, the prophet Elijah and sweet Naomi. Call me Mara. But you also cling to the moment when God hears and sees Hezekiah's bitter tears, feeds and strengthens defeated Elijah and redeems Naomi's broken past. It is in these moments of anxiety and confusion that we get to anxiously await God's redemption, which always comes. It is where bitterness turns to hope, confusion turns to order, and anxiety is once again filled with peace.
I google'd him just to be sure I had the right guy and then realized that's what the picture above was about.
ReplyDelete