Ridiculous Mad Rant Because I Need Coffee & Jesus
Today I am mad. I am mad that other people's decisions change the course of my life. I am not a feminist (well maybe a little, but currently a lazy apathetic one). I did not hold picket signs or ask for the right to vote. I was fine with being barefoot and pregnant making your dinner. Being pregnant (post first trimester) means I can eat for two without feeling guilty. Being barefoot means I never have to worry about the difficult decision of picking out shoes. Plus I actually do love to cook. (Before anyone gets offended- I am actually kidding).
I never chose to be 30 and single. Personally I think I should deflect all the unwanted insults I receive onto all the men who have rejected me. (Yes, I know I have rejected lots of men, but that doesn't help my desire to be annoyed today). So when a 20-year-old compassionately asks me why I am single, I'll give them a list of all the men they can ask instead. Or when another sweet 20-year-old tells me she is considering being a housewife, I'll ask for an application. "How do you get that job?" Again, barefoot and pregnant is my life goal. I am such a failure, a fact that my sweet young friends point out all the time. They love to explain to me how they are going to have children before they are 30 and no longer have enough eggs or energy to raise a family.
So today, I am mad, but still kind of a feminist. The beauty of being a woman is in the ability to have two conflicting views at the exact same time. It's like right now where I simultaneously want to eat an entire bag of Easter chocolate and do crunches. I would also like to say that I don't think any of these thoughts are real. Honestly I think I just need more coffee and a beach vacation.
I never chose to be 30 and single. Personally I think I should deflect all the unwanted insults I receive onto all the men who have rejected me. (Yes, I know I have rejected lots of men, but that doesn't help my desire to be annoyed today). So when a 20-year-old compassionately asks me why I am single, I'll give them a list of all the men they can ask instead. Or when another sweet 20-year-old tells me she is considering being a housewife, I'll ask for an application. "How do you get that job?" Again, barefoot and pregnant is my life goal. I am such a failure, a fact that my sweet young friends point out all the time. They love to explain to me how they are going to have children before they are 30 and no longer have enough eggs or energy to raise a family.
So today, I am mad, but still kind of a feminist. The beauty of being a woman is in the ability to have two conflicting views at the exact same time. It's like right now where I simultaneously want to eat an entire bag of Easter chocolate and do crunches. I would also like to say that I don't think any of these thoughts are real. Honestly I think I just need more coffee and a beach vacation.
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