When New Words Fail, Use Old Ones

I once lived with hippie poets. Weekly I co-hosted poetry readings where this make-shift group of writers debuted their new pieces.  My only job, providing dinner. Eventually, inspired, I wrote.

I wrote about the season I was in, a season that refused to end.  I begged God to change my circumstances. When I realized my begging didn’t work, I tried to accept my circumstances. I even tried to use my circumstances to teach others. But no matter what, no matter how desperate I felt, I was unable to manipulate God into moving faster.

I have changed states, surroundings, jobs, and people, but I still am unable to change God.Inspired-less, I post the words I once wrote and still believe.

I cannot change God. He alone is changing me.

Stuck in your Branches

I am caught in your arms, like the firm immovable branches of a tree.

Firm in your arms I kicked and screamed and cursed,

but your branches would not set me free.

I remember a time when I loved you, but that love now seems foolish and naïve.

I am trapped carelessly by your branches and you refuse to set me free.

But why did you ever free me?  Did you want to show me what I was missing?

Were you taunting me with what I cannot have?

Stuck in the branches of your tree, I know it is pointless to fight 

for my strength cannot set me free. 

You seem unchanged by my emotions. My pain has no effect.

You are unaltered by my longings, my desire to be free.

 Bloody, bruised and defeated I give up hope and just let go.

In my captivity, I am forced to watch the things I cannot have.

I watch as they go from perfection to hatred to foolishness.

I watch as unfailing love fails, as promises are broken,

each affected unalterably by my emotion. 

Their love has denied me, one mistake too much.

I lean into your branches, and the safety of your touch.