Time to Give Due Credit
My inner narcissism, assumes that each of you, my faithful
readers, have been anxiously debating why I haven’t been writing? It is not, as
some have decided, because I am only inspired to write by misery. Although a
great theory, I personally, lean more on the time theory. Now that I have a
job that I love and where I do actual work, I have less time and energy left
for writing. The irony of this truth kills me since being busy means I have
more to write about but I have less time to write.
I think it is important to take a bit of time to reflect on the journey of the past two years. (Today is my 2nd Alanta-versary!) For close to two years I complained about how much I hated my jobs. After
reading my blog, you debated whether or not you should admit me into a hospital
for my own safety or the safety of others. I was miserable. The light at the
end of the tunnel was so dark I could barely make it out. Hopeless, I gave up
my dreams, and, to put it dramatically, lay down to die. I felt like Elijah
after he defeated the prophet’s of Baal and Jezebel sent an army to seek his life
(See 1 Kings 19). He ran to the wilderness, gave up and welcomed death. It was the same for me.
Jezebel may not have sent an army to
kill me, but, after trying everything in my strength, I had given up. When Elijah gave up, an angel of the Lord woke
him, fed him, and led him to the presence of God. For me, on a night just before Christmas, my stomach hurt,
anxiety filled my bones, and, all night, unable to sleep, I wrestled with God. In
the wee hours of the morning, the Lord renewed my strength. He empowered me to
dream, to apply for jobs and believe Him for the impossible.
I realize that God’s desire is not to make us happy or give
us the American dream, but he delights in giving good things to his children.
He delights in making us more like himself and giving us life abundantly. He
also delights in doing things in ways that only He can receive the credit. So, I wanted to take some time out of my busy
schedule to reflect on a few things that God taught me over the past two years, and give a little credit where credit is due.
Lessons God was teaching me, when I was whining to him:
- Don’t quit seeking God just because you don’t feel like it. God’s truths are constant; your emotions are a roller coaster. On the days you aren’t feeling it, you are still storing up truths for when you do have the strength to believe them. God is good even when you “feel” bad. (Matthew 6:33).
- Quit trying to rush, manipulate or alter the mind of God. You are only wasting your time. God does what God does when God does it and you can’t change it, rush it, or stop it, no matter how much you whine, reason and rationalize. (This is not to downplay the power of prayer, but to remind you of the fruitlessness of trying to manipulate the will of God to align with your will). (Numbers 23:19).
- God is good; therefore, you can rest in His control. We live in a culture that says you have to make things happen, but we worship a God who actually CAN make things happen and whose timing is perfect. Lean into him and not your own understanding (Ps 136:1, Prov 3:5-6, Gal 6:9, Rom 8:28).
- Learn to say thank you in the morning and in the evening. He is worthy of praise, when the season is good and when the season is bad. On the bad days it may be harder to say thank you, but those are the days when we offer a sacrifice of praise (1 Chronicles 23:30).
- Count it all joy, the good and the bad, because no matter how ugly the season, God is using it to make you into something beautiful (James 1:2-18).
I may not have as much time to write the hilarious events of my life, but I thought it was important to take the time to give due credit to God who is always working even when life just feels crappy.
PS. I am not giving any credit to the random pictures included in this blog. They were taken by someone for something and then copied by me for something completely different- to appease you, my viewers who like pictures. Here is another cool one.
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